I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize
