spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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