You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
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