i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
