I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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