my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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