I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
it glows. i had to have it.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
