so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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