very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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