I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
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