Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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