I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
someone owes me an orgasm
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
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