the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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