real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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