escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
