@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
