Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Randomize
