In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
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Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
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