a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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