i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
