Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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