if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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