hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
