Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
