Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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