Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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