once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
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