I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
