I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
