Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i love accidental penises.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
