I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
