I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
