i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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