She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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