apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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