Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
