I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
