were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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