whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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