We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
