dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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