This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
