Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
