We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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