He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
