Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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