Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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