You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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