Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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