take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
