all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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