I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
