I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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