$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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