I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
