if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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